Comfort in Repetition
... to the end
Conversation with a youth this week. 4th grade.
Student: I wouldn’t want to live forever.
Me: Why is that?
You would have to watch all those around you grow old and die and you would still be around and that would be really sad.
Doesn’t God live forever? How do you think God feels?
Sad.
Hmmm.
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My favorite quote from some professional development on mental health I attended this week.
“A teacher doesn’t get tired of solving problems. They get tired of solving the same problem over and over.”
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In Chapter 1 of Pope Francis’ Fratelli tutti from 2020 he says this,
Our own days, however, seem to be showing signs of a certain regression. Ancient conflicts thought long buried are breaking out anew, while instances of a myopic, extremist, resentful and aggressive nationalism are on the rise. In some countries, a concept of popular and national unity influenced by various ideologies is creating new forms of selfishness and a loss of the social sense under the guise of defending national interests. Once more we are being reminded that “each new generation must take up the struggles and attainments of past generations, while setting its sights even higher. This is the path. Goodness, together with love, justice and solidarity, are not achieved once and for all; they have to be realized each day. It is not possible to settle for what was achieved in the past and complacently enjoy it, as if we could somehow disregard the fact that many of our brothers and sisters still endure situations that cry out for our attention”.1Now…. I’m not Catholic but I do like Pope Francis. I appreciate his high level view of world trends. I used the above paragraph as part of a typing test for my middle school classes. 🙂
To me - these 3 things seemed to fit into a theme. The repetition of history. Repetition in life. Repetition in the day to day. Repetition that one day might bring comfort and then switch on a dime to become tiresome, old, painful. God, made in our image, or we, made in God’s. The same things over and over. Sadness. Grief. Death. Birth. Joy.
It is up to us to decide what to do with the time we have. How to react. What to repeat and what to change. How to experience. How to love. Or if we choose to obsess over what we can’t have or have too much of or even if we make the choice to hate.
Hate. Some hate the way things are and want to change them. Some hate that others want to change things.
In my own mind I do try to avoid hate. I hope to stay focused on what I would like to see happen, what I love, what I can improve, what I can help with. Sometimes it’s tricky. It means letting go of things that I can’t control. It means accepting things that happen as part of my life experience. Would I ever choose to go through the final months with Katie again? That sadness that the fourth grader speaks of?? No. But did I hate those days? No. She became the recipient of more love than I have ever poured out before. The experience was intense, draining, and meaningful. Am I willing to put myself in those shoes again? Yes. Am I worried about it? Yes. But I am more worried about putting someone else in those shoes - the shoes that might need to support me. My pacemaker. My bad back. My oncoming weakness. Am I capable of receiving that much love from someone else should I be put in the position Katie was in? Am I deserving of that much love? Aren’t there more important things in the world than futzing around about me? Sigh. And I know - that part is not my choice. Love freely given should not be denied. In love, trust.
When I was with Nicolle, I gave her a book of poems I had written called MT Repetitions. I thought it was quite a clever title. Does sound a bit hopeless, though. On the surface at least.
Creativity is largely born out of repetition. We take what we know and modify it. We take skills we have and use them in slightly different ways. We read out loud and change the intonation just so. Repetition that is comforting. If we step too far out in our creativity it will not find an audience. The lack of familiarity will kill it. Think of SciFi movies and how the aliens are almost always humanoid or some other familiar shape. What might they really be? Might they be so far outside our realm of imagination that we do not even recognize them as aliens? Hmmm?
And so. Living forever. There would be repetition. There would be sadness that you know is coming. But there could also be acceptance and an appreciation for those other moments. For Joy. For the ability to learn to love more and more and more… forever.
For me the greater sadness would probably come with the repetition of history. Of the human race not learning to be better. Of not realizing that we have built so many constructs that we have forced ourselves into that are not made by nature or God. They’re made by us and we can just simply change them. Money, work, borders… All constructs. Politics, languages, institutions… all constructs. All held onto because there are so many people that are afraid of change. If we destroy the institutions, economies will collapse! If we change the nature of work how will people get paid so they can eat and pay rent? all constructs. All modifiable.
A teacher in the classroom changes things all the time. Sometimes students earn grades based on memorization. Sometimes, problem solving. Sometimes it might be behavior. We move students around. We add in breaks when necessary. We push through to harder things if the class is up for the challenge. In that small scale change is easy and possible. The change, the problem solving the teacher goes through also keeps them from being burned out or tired.
As I see it - the world and technology have advanced to the point that world economies need a major overhaul. A major overhaul that could easily improve the standard of living of millions… and maybe even save our planet. Yet we stumble forward on our 40+ hours a week, our highways and our jet planes as if the repetitive ride will never end. I am tired of our capital based society. I enjoy working hard and I enjoy helping people. I enjoy volunteering as a coach. I enjoy teaching. I am glad it pays me enough that I don’t have to worry… but really. Should I have to worry? The concept of money was useful as a replacement for trading physical goods but isn’t it time for something new? Isn’t it time to find a new construct so far outside the box of conventional wisdom that it is unrecognizable? Like the sci fi alien that no one even realizes is an alien.
Bhutan started measuring Gross National Happiness in the 1970s. Some European countries are headed that way as well with more days off, shorter work weeks, etc.. We have the ability to do much much more.
Don’t be afraid. Don’t be sad at what might be lost. Choose to love and be a helper in this world. Choose a tough path. Accept that others have choices and allow them to make those choices.
Also - be aware of what you consume and if you really need it. Maybe the joy it brings is ephemeral and could just as easily be replaced by something simpler… something that will not slowly kill the land we live on.
If we were to know that we live forever - would we really treat our world the way we do?
Cited.
Encyclical Letter: Fratelli tutti on Fraternity and Social Friendship, Pope Francis. 2020. Fratelli tutti (3 October 2020) | Francis