Coming in last

the other end of the string

STACKIVERSARY

Today is day 365!  It’s the end! The end I say! Well, it is the end of the first year anyway.  On 9/23/23 I made my first substack post. So exciting.

Here it is: https://aannnddyys.substack.com/p/design-and-adjust I still wish the world had been more marvelous for her. 

Wow. Day 365. And this. This is my 78th post. That means I posted every 4.679487 days, on average. That’s a lot of posting for a guy that is just thinking about things.

This evening I celebrated by doodling on Inkscape and messing with spirals and buckets. Here they are. 

Yesterday I got walked out on

Yup. Me. I met a woman through Facebook and she seemed interesting (wait, what? yes - and she’s another K. Everyone I know or meet seems to be a K). Our music, reading, writing tastes seemed to match up so we arranged to meet in person at a coffee shop… last week. She canceled and rescheduled to this week. I was there early. She texted to say she was running late. I sat patiently and doodled over coffee. She arrived and we chatted for 50 minutes. No romantic sparks but there were no awkward pauses either. Interesting. Some things in common. Some things different. The second time her phone rang she told the person on the phone she still needed to go to Trader Joes… then the conversation stalled, turned weird. Silence and she stood up to go so I stood up too. Then she walked around me and walked out. Just like that. Didn’t even look back. I started to go too and thought better of it. Something obviously happened. Best to just give her time to get to her car and go.

It’s just so odd. There were no harsh words. No nasty comments. No looks of dismay. No hint of what was to come.. just gone.  No after text either.

It’s fine, really. Just so odd. Are people really like this? 

Last and second to last

The day before was our first cross Country Meet of the year. 4 of my team couldn’t make it due to an 8th grade retreat. 4 of my team couldn’t make it because they didn’t finish some school work on time. I was down to my three fifth grade girls, three middle school boys and one middle school girl. Tiny team. 5 of them had never run a cross country race before.

Even if only one can make it, we’re going.

So there we are on a foggy evening. M is tiny and cold and wearing a parent’s poofy jacket. It’s like a sleeping bag on her. M2 is pounding popcorn in a nervous fit of hyper. C apparently just ate a bunch of Mac and Cheese (uh oh). There are multiple trips to the bathroom. 

We check the course. J gives them JV advice from his vast experience from last year. They’re all nervous. They talk over my instructions.

The races start. A and A run amazing 2 mile varsity times. The rest of the team runs JV and M smiles the whole way and comes in mid pack. M2 isn’t far behind and then J in all his experience does quite well too. He’s on a high.

Meanwhile I’ve been running around the course cheering on B & C who are together and walk running and absolutely, surely, no doubt about it, dead last. Neither of them have ever run a race before. Cross Country is the first time they’ve ever really run at all. C smiles at me and poses for the camera the first time I see her. Then she becomes all concentration and catches B. I encourage them. “When you walk, try to walk fast” “See if you can catch that purple guy” “keep on going” and they do. They know they’re last yet they just keep on going. They know they are last but they persevere. Some parents of kids from other teams run along with them for short bursts cheering them on. They turn the last corner and people are cheering them the whole way. The final stretch and they are, well, not happy, but relieved. They made it. They did it.  C asks for her time. B makes a b-line to our blanket and goodies, sits down and sucks on a Popsicle. She looks like she may never move again… total exhaustion on her face. 

The parents are all sitting around glowing like they’d just run the thing. Smile.  C’s mom tells me this is the most active C has ever been…

This may be my favorite moment/experience as a coach. I have often thought about the mentality it takes to be last and keep going. It takes a special attitude. A special focus. I will continue. I will continue even though everyone is waiting on me. I will continue because that is what I am here for. This moment is mine and I will achieve my goal and not let down. The character it takes. I think it is more than I have. I don’t even know what I would do in that situation.

Last and second to last.  It’s like first and second, just the other end of things.