First World Problems

Bin down part 2

I feel like my last post was similar to complaining because it’s hard to open a jar of caviar.  Or maybe complaining that the caviar I have is not the best.  Or that the seat warmer in my car for my left butt cheek seems to be slightly cooler.

Truth is.  I have it good.

Good enough that I can spend time thinking about my place in the world. Good enough that I have options. I could change things if I decide I want to. I’m not living paycheck to paycheck with decisions about “rent or food?” 

I got up this morning and ran 5 miles along the coast on the Monterey Peninsula. 

Yesterday afternoon when I was feeling stir crazy I ran 6 miles along the coast on the Monterey Peninsula and it was 65 degrees out. Yeah, I know. That’s rough. 

If I forget to close my garage door and it’s open for hours. No big deal. No one will steal anything. More likely a neighbor will ping me and let me know it’s open. I actually wouldn’t mind if they took my bike.  No luck so far.

My sister came to visit over the weekend on a whim. That was great.

I’ll see friends tomorrow and Thursday morning and run and then see nearby family on Turkey Day evening. Sure, I’ll be an extra limb but if I rig it right maybe that can just make for better hugs.

And sure, there has been loss in the last 2 years and it’s been difficult. But really just difficult compared to the rest of my own life. I’ve still had it good.

And have it good still.  Friends that reach out and check in at magical moments. They seem to trust their senses and KNOW.

I am grateful for them.

Grateful for the friends I run with, hike with, help me take care of my body and mind.

To run, to hike, to go to hot yoga… all first world luxuries. I’m not working 2 jobs to cover costs. I’m not 1 week on 1 week off with kids and worried about what the ex spouse is doing.

I have consciously, to a large degree, put myself in a position where I am an uncle. I am literally an uncle and not a father. Very consciously not a father. Vasectemized over 20 years ago! I am a teacher… which is similar to being an uncle. I deal with the kids all day and then send them on their way so I can go home to peace and quiet. I provide help where I can but I am rarely solely responsible or is what I do actually expected. The only things truly dependent on me are my three goldfish. Oh, that’s a rough responsibility! But then sometimes I lament that I’m in this uncle position…  Dude!  It was your choice!! 

My life is simple. And sometimes this means I have too much time to think. But yeah - I know it’s my own doing.

My only real issue right now is that I did not step up to give more during the holiday.  Giving would have kept me busy and been good for others. Instead I’m sitting around. Thinking too much. Craving a cuddle that probably won’t come because I should be out there doing things instead. I better get my butt in gear for Christmas.

The inevitability of inconvenience

My Saturday morning running group has frequently talked about this phenomena.  We can be running along a road that is mostly deserted. Basically no cars. Then, at some point a car comes rolling toward us.  We scoot to the left to let it by.  But - at that very same instance, a car has come from behind us and is passing in the far lane. This makes it so the car coming toward us can not scoot over into the oncoming lane to give us space. Even though there has been no other traffic. Even though one car could slow down or speed up. It is inevitable that the three of us will cross the same point in the road at the exact same time and most likely, it will be a narrow portion of the road with a puddle or some other obstacle to make it even more difficult.

And then we won’t see another car for hours.  But there’s a good chance we’ll be talking about that minor inconvenience for quite a while - rather than just appreciate that there are no other cars.

I’ve got very few cars to worry about. Right now, I’m just at a weird intersection point.