Four Point OH!

Whitey Tighties on the stairs

6 Parts! Anti-Leader; Underwear over there - how embarrassing; Yes, I chafe; TRACK FREAK OUT; The anti-coach; HOT CORN DOG

Part 1: Anti-Leader

In all my years of school there are a few classes that really stuck with me. Social Issues in High School. Happiness - a senior level Philosophy class at Eastern. Russian Folk Tales with Professor Haney at the UW and a class on Modern Russian/Soviet Literature taught by an Associate Professor (I don’t remember his name), also at the UW. Both of the UW classes were designated as W classes.  That meant we had to write a lot. I suppose that’s part of why I don’t find it too difficult to write a lot now.

The only grade I’ve had in my entire life that I’m like, “yeah, I did that” was in Modern Russian/Soviet Literature. It was fascinating to see the depths to which the writers would go to say what they wanted to say without actually saying it… because if they did say it they would potentially end up in jail, in a gulag or even dead. Solzhenitzen’s One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch is perhaps the most famous for this. I mostly just remember how he spent many pages talking about how he would savor the watery soup and tiny piece of bread he occasionally got. My favorite story we read in the class was Makanin’s Anti-Leader. The story was set in the Breznev era and detailed the life of a diminutive working-class man. He humbly and quietly went about his days working hard and going home to a verbally and physically abusive wife. He just quietly took it all.  In the end the hero finds some peace but it is not spelled out in the story why. Much debate was had in the class as to what made him so pleased.  I wrote a paper on it and theorized that he had actually finally snapped and killed his wife. Horrible yes, but I supported it well and got my 4.0.  My only one on a paper in my undergraduate career. I believe I argued that the wife represented the Soviet System and he represented the people and it took a violent action against the one he loved to free himself from the tyranny. This also led to a 4.0 in the class and I have to say I’m proud of it to this day.  The professor said he had never previously considered my theory but I believe I won him over.  Ahh. Satisfaction.  No, I don’t have the paper anymore.  That’s a long time ago now. I do have a copy of the story, somewhere… 

Today, this same methodology of “that’s not what I said” that Russian writers used to dissent against communism seems to be very popular amongst our politicians. Some more than others. Euphemisms, symbolism, metaphors are all used to say to their supportive audience what they mean but to mask what they mean to their adversaries. Seems quite cowardly to me in our society, but it is effective at keeping them out of jail.The primary difference here being, of course, that the people doing it here have power and money and a legal system that largely protects them because they know how to skirt the line. They should be embarrassed.  Hopefully it will catch up with them or the people in the U.S. will wake up.

Part 2: Underwear over there - how embarrassing

I came home after my run in the rain today, sopping wet, and slowly worked my way up the common apartment stairs.  Midway up the final set there was a pair of underwear. Whitey tighties if you will. 

No, I’m not touching those, I thought.  But I don’t really want to leave them there. Hmmm. What is one to do?

Thankfully my neighbor opened the door right then.  I pointed, “There’s underwear on the stairs”  “Not mine, probably Ted’s”. “TED!”  He comes out.  “oh my” and then he started to explain how the way they were sitting there was really quite artistic and…  I cut him off and told him to just pick them up.

Maybe that was a bit rude… but I don’t want to make too light of it.  Who knows? Maybe he’ll start leaving underwear out there on purpose? no no no

But that does speak to a common apartment building/common laundry fear.  I think we’ve all been afraid of leaving an “unmentionable” in the laundry room.  Heaven’s to Betsy that would be embarrassing. Who knows what the neighbors will think or what they’ll do with it?!  Aghh.  I always double check the washer and dryer when I’m done… just to be sure. Loss of underwear. em bare ass ment…. get it?  hehe. 

Part 3: Yes, I chafe

Speaking of embarrassment. Last week I left my Friction Defense stick in KS’s bathroom before we went for a run. If you’re a runner you probably know about chafing. I am diligent before every run in my application.  EVERY RUN.  It’s not worth the potential pain later. It’s most unpleasant.  Thigh rub and nipples - in case you’re wondering.  I hope you’re not embarrassed.

Most entertaining to me was thinking about how I left a very appropriate item for an adventure buddy at her house. Everyone’s heard about how toothbrushes will start to appear and indicate a new level that a relationship has reached. What does anti friction stick mean? Hmmm… Don’t think too hard, btw.

Part 4: TRACK FREAK OUT

Last Friday was the first Track meet of the season.  16 members of our team showed up on the cold and windy afternoon to stand in the mucky field and wait for their events. Some were experienced and for some it was their first time. I was a bad coach and did not spend enough time with the new kids.  Shame on me, for sure.

The 800 m is the second event. All of the girls were going at once (6th, 7th and 8th grade) and I thought 2 of our girls were going to run. I liked that because they could provide each other with moral support.  But, when I went to check them at the start only the 7th grader, S, new to track and in her first school sport, was on the line. The 6th grade girl had opted out. S did not look happy.  Panic on her face. Uh oh. She was in the far lane. I couldn’t get to her. It was going to be whatever it was going to be.

The gun goes off and she starts way too fast.  Uh oh. 

She stays in her lane around the corner but then just doesn’t cut in at the break line.  I chase her down and finally catch her at the far turn, “you can cut in!”  She does but she’s hyperventilating. Everyone passes her.  It keeps getting worse and she’s staggering and when she comes out of the corner she just stops and comes to the infield breathing like she can’t catch her breath. Tears in her eyes.

Her mom was there and held her and tried to say calming things. I told her it was going to be okay, just breathe …  but then she was worried about what her team members would think and how embarrassing it was going to be to have to face them. She just wanted to escape. “That was horrible!”

After a few minutes I left her with her mom and tracked down a couple of other 7th grade girls and sent them over to be supportive and give hugs. Hugs were given. I think the embarrassment was mostly averted.  They convinced her to run the 100 with them and she did even though she didn’t want to. Small victories but then she came in last in her heat. ugh.

I was worried she wouldn’t come back to practice this week.

She did. She ran hard. Didn’t complain at all. We talked about what she might want to run.  “NOT THE 800!!”

Yesterday she ran the 100, 400 and 200 and seemed to really enjoy herself.  Kids are cool.

Then there’s the 8th grade boy that tries everything with a smile on his face. Yesterday he tried the long jump and shot put.  I think he’s done with sprinting though…  “I came in LAST!”

I just smile. I’m glad you’re here.

Part 5: The anti-coach

I like coaching the kids. I’m not a hardcore coach. I was talking to our athletic director the other day and I’m like, “You know, I’ve been running a long time. No one I know warms up like all the other schools do at meets. I just tell my kids to warm up 15 minutes before their event and since all their events are at different times warming up together doesn’t really make sense. It’s like all the coaches just looked it up or they feel like they have to prove they’re the coach or something.”  She said, “Yeah, there are a lot of YouTube coaches out there.” Some other coaches do some serious yelling during warm ups. Seems silly to me. I do yell at them while they’re running. A lot.

So yeah. I do my own thing. I base it on my team. This year I have to get serious. There’s a 6th grader that just ran the 1600 in 5:44.  He needs some serious actual workouts and to know what’s coming.  Gee whiz.  Mostly I just wing it and watch the team to see how they’re feeling.  Then we either push it and run harder or we rest and head back early. Listen and watch. That’s my strategy.

Generally, I like to pay attention and then try to meet others' needs. I think that’s my thing. That’s why I’m a teacher. That’s why I coach. That’s why I like to cook for people.

Part 6: HOT CORN DOG

Cooking for people and food is a funny thing. I’m far more comfortable being the cook. Being the guest is weird. I like to have something to do. I like to think about what they might like. I ask them if they have any food limitations or if they have favorite desserts and then I go shopping and look for the best produce or the best deals and go from there. Sometimes I don’t know what I’m cooking until I bring it all out on the counter. I do know it’s going to be for that person. That’s who I’m focused on. That’s what gives me the most pleasure and satisfaction. Sometimes people say I should cater or something… but no. Each meal is catered to the individual that’s invited. I don’t do the set menu thing.

There was a long period of time where I cooked nearly every dinner for Katie. Some days she would eat ravenously, have seconds, tell me she’d want it again. Other times she would make a funny face and refuse to eat. It could even be the same thing I made before. Her health really messed with her eating and I had to just get over it. I cooked it with love, for her. We can’t always control the reaction.

Sometimes people over react to my cooking. It’s like they’re Sally in When Harry Met Sally in the cafe. Way over the top. Yeah, sure - it’s nice to hear. But if you really like it just have seconds or at least clean your plate.

When I cook I like to feel what I’m cooking. I notice the texture, the density, the smell. I let the smell guide the seasonings I use. I mostly stir or whisk by hand. I definitely knead by hand. I cut pasta by hand. I don’t have any big devices. I do have a hand blender and I have to say it’s pretty much required for soups. Lumpy soup just doesn’t cut it.

I cook for myself nearly every day. Usually not too fancy but sometimes I’ll try out an idea just to see what happens. My most recent success was polenta corn dogs. I’d had a horrible corn dog at a soccer match and thought, “hey, this is really just a hot dog wrapped in polenta” so I went home and made polenta with wieners and grilled jalapenos and onions with mustard. Oh my golly.

Now… I just have to figure out who is going to get my corn dogs. Hopefully their reaction won’t be over the top.