Press the RESET

Resolutions? No - thank you.

A little music to thank you this new year

Sometimes we remake ourselves, yet we are the same.

When I first saw/heard the song “Honeybee” by Steam Powered Giraffe it was their original video with them all decked out in their steam garb, makeup and movements and it is … really, just a lovely thing.

And really. It kind of makes me cry because I do think of Katie and how we were both transfixed. We found it following rabbit holes on Youtube during Covid. This version feels like a singular, one on one love song.

This last year I found a different version of the song by the band - which I perhaps like more. It’s the Apartment Sessions version with a full band done live without makeup or funky motions. It just makes me happy.

Somehow the “you” in the second version to me is plural and I appreciate it all the more. Maybe it represents all those different people that have been there for me this past year. KS more than any other, but KM, PP, MD, MB, PH, TR, MW, TB, GN, EF, TK, SK, SS, SS, EN and many others… all of you are my Honeybees and I thank you.

“You didn’t have to look my way.”

You’ve all helped me relearn friendship, trust, openness, the need to try and do new things and the need for LOVE from many places.

The other stuff -

While writing is invaluable to me for releasing what is in my mind or weighing me down emotionally, music frequently carries me through rougher thoughts and times. When I was younger it would usually be the catharsis that I could find in an angry song. SCREAM WITH ME!!!!!

Now I find myself seeking positivity and optimism or just fun. Ahhhhhh.

Sofi Tukker is good for that. The video/song of theirs I like the best and just makes me happy every time is with Amadou and Mariam, “Mon Cheri”. It just makes me so happy when Amadou and Mariam kick in with their vocals. The green hat thing gets me too…. and the story… well yeah, the whole thing.

I find Atarashi Gakko invariably puts me in a good mood - especially if watching one of their videos. Their Dance Practice version of “Candy” does it for me every time. They just look so wired on SUGAR. “ECHO ECHO”

This year -

I am not sure how much longer or how frequently I will continue with this substack. I do know it has gradually morphed in the last 16 months but does remain both my release and playground for the things bouncing in my head. As my year of trauma has faded a bit so has the intensity of my emotions and the need to expel them through words on “paper”. It has grown easier to think of the future and I ponder what will come my way frequently… but pondering the future, or what might be, in public is a risky thing. This is not a private diary under my bed. Some of you can figure out who I am talking about and I write with that knowledge, but that also means I need to keep some things in the shade, less open than I really want to as I think them through. Especially when those I care about are involved… Hmm…. But at the same time I also know I wrote a whole post about my sex life and I don’t think any of you even realized it. 🙂 Maybe I’ll just go the tricky route and see if you can figure it out.

Also, I do not want to affect my future by putting a “finger on the scale” as it were. Usually when I write I am just thinking things through and sometimes words in permanence can be taken as a truth or a promise. I would prefer most things to mature naturally… with confidences kept and options open. I view my life as a path I am on with branches constantly appearing left, right, below and above. Perhaps you will join me on a path for a while. Maybe we will wander together for years.

Resolutions? No thank you.

I just want to keep enjoying the time I have with those I care about. I want to continue on a path of health - both in body and mind. I want to keep being good to people. I want to give more than I receive. I want to create less stress than I aleve. I want to bring happiness to those I love even if, in the short term, it might seem to take some away from me. My contentment comes in the joy of others.

Happy New Year everyone.