Splash and ripples

messing with the flow

5 parts. Wrestling mats. Covid falls down. It’s a wonderful life. Showing off. And Spell “it”.

There are little moments in life that can be impactful. Both for us and others. Some will be positive moments of light. Others might darken our days. In truth, they are minor little bits in the massive array of life - but that can have impact - like a tiny rock creating a big splash in a pond.

Part 1: Wrestling mats. 

About 22 years ago I was training for a marathon or some other long run. I ran out to the Commissary  from my apartment and was heading back along General Jim Moore. My legs were tired. I had miles to go. I was out of water. I had bitten off more than I could chew, really.

A truck with what looked like wrestling mats loosely packed in the back passed me. About 200 yards down the road I watched as one of the blue mats took flight out of the truck bed and landed on the side of the road. I have to admit I giggled a bit internally thinking about how poorly packed they were.

I was on the other side of the road and continued to run toward her as the lady backed her truck to collect her misfortune. Unfortunately for me, it was also my misfortune. I happened to catch up to her right as she got out and she decided, instead of focusing on picking up the mats, to focus on yelling at me for not helping her. Like, full on, nasty, yelling. I don’t remember exactly what she said but it hit me hard, made me feel bad and makes me feel bad to this day. I suppose I could have helped but I was just getting there. I suppose I could have helped but I was at mile 15 and I could just imagine injuring myself, or cramping, as I dealt with those pesky mats. I suppose I could have helped but rather than ask she just started yelling at me… sigh. 

I ran on.  Internal angst and all. Usually, I do help. One big negative splash that is still rippling today.

Part 2. Covid falls down

During the first month or so of covid I was running the deserted neighborhoods and saw an older woman trying to deal with her garbage bins next to her house. She slipped and fell over and was having trouble getting up. I put my mask on and ran over to her and asked if I could come close enough to help her up. She said yes and I did. She said thank you. Hopefully I created a positive splash.

Part 3. It’s a wonderful life

The other night I was checking my Fb chat to see if KC was online. The first thing she said was “you are wonderful”. It made me blush. It made me feel good. A simple positive splash.

Part 4. Showing off

Photo credit to Mr. Lopez - one of our great parents

I learned to juggle when I was in high school. My brother came home from college and could juggle and I was like, “I want to do what he can do.”  He was kind enough to give me some tips but basically I worked at it until I got it. I still juggle. I have at least 21 bean bags. 3 pins. 50 or so tennis balls. All for the purpose of juggling. 

When I emceed the school auction the other day I was concerned I might get nervous or that I might need to provide some random entertainment, so I selected three brightly colored juggling balls and stashed them in my tux pockets. I took them out a few times, but it was mostly for me. It’s soothing. It’s a relaxing thing to do. A few people exclaimed “you can juggle!” which was amusing but didn’t make me feel any particular joy. What made me feel good was when a woman, slightly intoxicated, looked at me and yelled “juggle!” And then when I started, she just had a pleasant smile on her face. It was nice to know she actually wanted to see more. Positive splash. Being asked to show off does make a fellow feel good. She did it twice during the evening. Felt good both times.

The juggling thing is interesting. I’m not big on receiving praise. If I cook or bake for people, I want them to like it but I also want feedback. I also want to know that they want more. I get more out of knowing they want more and aren’t just done with a thank you or praise… The proof is in what happens going forward.

KT and I liked to cook. If we experimented, we would typically ask at the end of the meal, “would you eat it again?”  That was the real test. A “yes” was a positive splash. A “will you make this or that” was an even bigger positive splash. I particularly liked it when I would give her a cookie to taste, and she would dig up some plates and share what I made with the neighbors. Good enough to share was the best compliment.

Part 5. Spell “it”

Our fourth and fifth graders had the final round of their spelling bee last week. It was in the gym and I went over to take photos and cheer them on. There was a row of chairs against a wall for the contestants. In front of them was a raised platform with a podium and microphone that faced the bleachers on the other side of the gym. A rather intimidating setup, to be sure. 

Student names were printed on big pieces of paper and sitting on their assigned seats. Several students were already in their places. One 4th grade girl, M, was sitting alone to one side. A small group was at the other end of the row. I saw her looking up at the mic and podium. She looked concerned. I asked her what was up and she said she was worried the podium and mic were too tall for her. I looked up at the podium. Looked back at her - oh my, she is tiny.  She’s probably right. So I ask her to get up and we go up on the stage together and she checks it out. She’s just tall enough for the mic but the podium is pretty high. She decides she’ll just hold her white board as she works out the spelling (they can use white boards in 4th/5th spelling bees).  Phew. A few minutes later I go down to talk to the other kids along the wall. I give them fist bumps and tell them they’ll be great. I look down the row and M is sitting there, still alone, looking nervous. I walk back down to her, look her in the eyes and give her a fist bump. “good luck” and a subtle head nod. She smiles.

She made it to the third round, I think.

Ms mom is a teacher at the school. An hour later she finds me outside my classroom and starts to talk to me. She never comes to talk to me so this is highly unusual. She says that she spoke to M after the bee and told her that she did really well. M responded that she got the confidence because of the fist bump from Mr. S. Apparently that little action was enough to settle her nerves and give her a little courage. A positive splash for sure. Very small beginnings.  If mom hadn’t come by, I wouldn’t have remembered the fist bump at all. So two splashes. Fist bump and mom tracking me down to tell me about it. Now I’m telling you… is that a third splash? I hope so. Don’t underestimate your power to create splashes.

What kind of splash are you going to make today? Ripple Ripple.