Ups and Downs

Downs and Ups

I’m feeling calm.

Here I sit… Friday, the last official day of fall break. Sipping a fake beer. Pizza dough is rising. Baseball is on with no sound. The Thompson Twins are playing through Pandora, “If you were here” - I’ve not heard in years. Not sure how Pandora picked Thompson Twins. A bit odd really considering how much K-C-J Pop and Sofi Tukker I’ve been listening to. 

It was a cold morning. The marine layer returned. It made for a cold run, which was refreshing but encouraged me to run a bit too hard and too fast (10k in 53). I probably should have rested more today.  Ah well. 

Now, 5:50 pm, the sky is clear. If I turn and peek out the window I can see that the Monterey Bay is flat and a deep deep blue. Sunset will come soon. I wonder if it will be clear and the aurora will go again tonight.  Last night it was marine layerish. No visible aurora here.

drama from the past

The plumbing company that KT hated knocked on the door 20 minutes ago. “We’re going to have to shut the water off for an hour”.  I looked at him for a second, thoughtful. “Ok”. And closed the door. In year's past this would have been a traumatic experience. “What?!” “Why?!” “Why couldn’t it not be at dinner time?!” followed by a series of comments I’d get to hear after the door closed about all the previous horrible experiences that were had with this company. While I do miss her energy and enthusiasm I don’t miss that part. Yeah… no.  Hopefully they’ll just get the job done today and go.

deer audience, thank you

Yesterday I juggled pins for a while in the park while doing laundry.  A fawn and mom sat and watched me from about 20’ away. Just sitting, staring straight at me, calm. I talked to them a little as I counted. I try to get to 100 throws with pins. Then I went and got my bocce balls to juggle. They’re like little weights. The deer continued to just sit there and watch. Eventually they got up and I thought I’d disturbed them, but no… someone was rustling in the park and spooked them.  Darn. And I had such a peaceful, engaged audience.  

Where has my mind been? 

This week a lot of my creativity has gone into turning my doodles into digital versions in Inkscape. This is what I managed to put together. Color does interesting things to a pencil drawing. Some of it was hard to do in Inkscape.  If you know, you know.  If you don’t, just say, “ooo, ahh”.  

Was feeling exhausted

Two days ago KS and I ran/hiked Pinnacles. Fabulous day. Gorgeous. Not too hot to start but then, yeah, I got toasty.  Then, near the end, when I wasn’t thinking too clearly we entered the caves. Took a silly wrong turn and ended up in a precarious location or two. Thankfully common sense prevailed and we backtracked to the right place.  

Then my delirium continued. Spaced out from being hot and tired. We went out for sandwiches at a deli in Salinas. Tasty… we thought they seemed like grandma sandwiches. Do be do. Get up to go back to the car and I reach for my keys which I thought I had stashed in my running short’s pocket. I thought I felt a lump there… but no. Gone. I go back to our table. Nothing. I check the front check stand. Nothing. I ask. No. No keys. “Maybe you threw them in the garbage with some other stuff?”  Could be. Maybe.  They give me some rubber gloves and I dig around in the trash. Nothing. Check the car, the ground, the back seat. Nope. I can’t lock it without the key so I had it. It’s somewhere. Dang. I’m going to make KS late for her class. Phooey. Then I feel a funny lump in my shorts as I walk. OH! Well that’s embarrassing.  Very embarrassing. All sorts of people are watching me look for my keys and I just found them… in the liner of my running shorts.  Basically stuffed in my underwear.  I attempt to casually sit with KS at an outdoor table. I mouth “found them” to the people inside. Then I tell her where they are and attempt to gracefully remove them from my running shorts liner without exposing myself. Felt sort of like changing clothes in public. Normally, I would have gone back in to tell folks I found them and say thank you… but no. Not in this case - even though I’m sure they would have all been quite entertained.  “What else you got in there that you’ve lost, buddy?”  Oh my. 

Accomplished.

Sunday KS and I finished the beach. We ran the last stretch from Moss Landing to the Pajaro River on a beautiful sunny day. We got the Pajaro and saw some people trying to wade across. At first we thought they had made it and got all excited. Surely we could cross! As we approached we realized that no, they had tried but then turned around. They didn’t make it. Shucks. I was already plotting how we could run all the way back to her place and get her car and drive back and really do the whole thing right. Maybe next year!  Still. Done. Capitola to Monterey done. On the beach. On foot. Mostly running. That’s a long way. 

And before that, energized, worried, concerned… all at once. 

Last week’s Cross Country meet had it all. New course. Amped up kids. Late kids. Kids that fell on the course. Hot weather. When I was leaving the school to go to the meet one of the varsity girls, S,  was running laps around the school courtyard. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was warming up. Warming up? an hour early? Felt like anxious antzy energy to me. I recommended she stop and save the energy.  She said, “ok” with a sigh.  As I exited I saw her mom and sister in their truck. Good, they should make it.

At the race the two other Varsity Girls are lined up for the start but no S.  Where is she? Did they go to the wrong course? I run out to the parking lot with her tag just in case they’re pulling up. I don’t see her anywhere. Nope. I run back to the start and watch them start. The air is full of energy and dust. Just as the last runner clears the first ¼ mile I turn and see S running toward the start. I go to her.  “Did they start!?” “yes, but you can still run JV”. “I knew we’d miss it! I told her! but she wanted to drop my sister off first” “I don’t want to run JV!” “I can’t believe…” “It’s okay, it will be fine. It’s your first race and JV will be a good intro”. “I DON’T WANT TO RUN JV!” and tears and some mean words about mom and sister and I stand with her and we walk between two school buildings where it is more private. I encourage her to take some deep breaths. Let her know it will be okay and that she can still run. It will just be in a little while. And she wants to be alone so I let her know I’m going to check on the runners and leave her there to calm down but that I’d be back.

Mom shows up and there are some mean words directed at mom.  Rough situation. Two kids with events at the same time. S has used a lot of emotional energy. I encourage her to run JV again. When the Varsity girls finish they encourage her to do it too. She listens to them.

The boys race is good. No drama except for our fast boy doesn’t have a good day. He’s pretty grumpy afterwards.

JV starts. We’ve got five girls in the race. It’s looking good. They’re smiling and laughing as they get ready to go.  And they’re off!!! A whirl of dust and pounding legs.  Near the end of the first lap I wait to cheer them on. First one through is S.  She’s in the top 20.  I cheer her on, “Go S! you’re doing great”. She sees me and breaks down. Hands on knees. Tears. “I can’t!”. Well - that took me off guard… a bunch of runners pass her.  I try to talk her down. “you’re doing great, just slow down a little, catch your breath, you can do this, you’ll find your legs, you’re a great runner” and she staggers off like she’s in a zombie apocalypse.

I stay there and cheer on the rest.  The tiniest 5th grader you’ve ever seen comes bouncing along with a giant smile on her face. My grumpy fifth grader comes along looking like the world is about to end but trudging along at a decent pace. And then… wait for it.  My two last placers, who I couldn’t be more proud of, come through the woods.  So fabulous to see them back and pushing through. Amazing.  I chat with one of the varsity girls. She had fallen during the race and had scrapes down one leg. But she was fine. Wired on adrenaline really. I recognize that look. That feeling. I long for that feeling and was so happy she found it. 

Phew. Good.  I wait a bit and here comes S again.  Looking good! I’m thinking, “this is great” so I cheer her on again. She hears me, looks up and does the same thing again!  Tears. “I can’t!” panic.  Thankfully I was still with the other varsity girl and she cheered her on.  This got her going.  Phew. Phew. Phew.  She finishes strong with a really good time.  

Tiny 5th grader finishes strong and gets stuck in the finishing shoot surrounded by giants. I swear she’s only up to their waists.  Grumpy comes along, a bit later than I expect but pushing through. I wonder why and hear later that she saw someone fall and hurt their ankle.  Rather than keep running she had stopped to make sure the person was okay and made sure there was adult help before she kept going.  And then, way in the back, come my final two and they finish strong. The cheerleaders along the chute had stayed to the end and gave a big final cheer to see them through. So cool. 

The final drama

I try to check in with everyone after races. I’m running around to find the other varsity girl, the boys, the JV team and then I realize I can’t find S. I look around frantically and see her walking away in the distance with her mom.  I run after them. When I catch them they’re are in a loose embrace and S is crying, “This was horrible” “I can’t believe you took her first” and on and on.  I let her know I’m proud of her. She did well. She finished strong despite being upset and I reminded her that at her first track meet race last year it had also been horrible but then she had fun the rest of the meets. She smiled a little. “yeah, it was”.  

Phew. Everyone leaves and I’m left alone near Pebble Beach so I run 6 miles along the Monterey Peninsula coast to burn off my own antzy energy. It was nice. 

The mom sent me a nice thank you email later.  Good stuff.