Yes, we kNow
It's all a bit repetitive
I had a goldfish die off about a month ago. 2 perished in a short period. Very sad. Probably an illness or something. Then one was left. I waited a while to see if they (the one) would perish or persist. They persisted. Then a friend said, “They’re lonely” and that got at my heart strings. So I got them some friends. Friends above. Yes, I’m working on my gender neutral pronouns. Here fishy fishy.
If you haven’t discovered it, my website is called MTRepetitions. Yup. Not terribly exciting, but it exists and it represents a few things about my life and perhaps, any life.
It is repetitive. I am repetitive. I repeat things. Often in my writing. Sometimes in the stories I tell to the same people that patiently listen. If you are a regular reader, you know.
MT – as in empty. I can only write, right, about the things I know or think I know and I know that what I know is insignificant compared to the “knowing” that is possible. My deep thoughts are really not, on the grand scheme of things, much deeper than a puddle on a rainy day. Hopefully that puddle is reflecting a rainbow.
MT.. as in Malformed Thoughts. My own delusions and mental loops pervade my experience and what I perceive to be reality. Perception is diluted by position, time, sensory ability, the muddling of one’s brain, the context… There are times when an emotion or moment overwhelms me and I attempt to put it into words. They are raw and frequently uninformed. They are infants that can change rapidly and my recording them in writing is merely a snapshot in time. My reality. My goal is not to produce perfection or the final solution but to express that moment.
Well, that was rather a long intro to today’s writing. Here’s that Onion again - speaking of repetition. Photo from today. That greenery represents the energy that was stored up, I suppose. Pretty amazing. I think it’s about to start fading. It resides near the fish.
Today’s musings were written in pen on paper in Plumes - A coffee shop in downtown Monterey. I had just picked up a gift for a friend that had arrived unexpectedly early and I was feeling quite pleased with myself. I had not yet picked up the 5 new fish, but it was in my plans for the day.
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D’oh! Oh, the end is near!
School!, the year, so dear, is coming to the close. A party is nearly over. There is excitement for summer. Sadness as the friendships formed will be subject to change. Anticipations.
Patterns shift.
Track is already over. My afternoons are free. Standardized testing is done…what a headache. The yearbook is done, printed and sitting in boxes in my classroom…
Projects are finishing…
Big projects that don’t involve kids can begin.
Time. I suddenly have and for the first time in a long time I slothed on the couch and watched episodes of Cowboy Bebop, Lucifer, Devil May Cry and Warrior Nun and still got to bed early.. and woke easily to run 10 with the fabulous PP.
It is as if time expanded.
Track bomb.
Sometimes it is about showing up.
Our last meet was last Saturday. I was not there… but I had run the three practices that week. The kids were generally lethargic. Slow. Wanting to just walk. So we ran hard a little and I let them just do social runs… they love the beach. And only a handful of the 41 could actually do a Saturday meet anyway. They were just at the practices because they wanted to be at the practices.
Those that ran at the track meet got personal bests. Every single one.
4x100 boys 8th grade. We ran it with a 6th grader and our distance guy. They still got points. The 8th grade boys even got 3rd overall out of at least 13 teams. So impressive.
4x100 girls 8th grade. We ran it with 2 6th graders, a 7th grader and an 8th grader. They got 4th overall, missing 3rd by .1 seconds while getting our best relay time of the year. Crazy.
An 8th grade boy beat everyone in the entire region at the long jump. He’s got springiness.
A 7th grade boy threw the shot put for the first time and got 3rd.
I’ve given my speech at the sports banquet. I gave out awards. I got to talk about how cool track is and how we have fun and work hard and they’re all so fabulous. And they are.
And now it’s done.
Technically I have 4 more hours free each week.
In reality, it feels like 10 hours. Easily 10. 10. Coaching, planning, keeping them safe as we run around town. It’s exhausting. It’s a commitment.
Test me.
Thankfully, our new principal has been open to my ideas on testing and we’ve gradually shifted things to make it less impactful both to me and to the grade level teachers. We now do the math test during… you’ll never guess… actual math time! And reading.. .yes, you’re right, during reading. It’s a miracle. I just have to get all 290 chromebooks and all the student logins ready and then troubleshoot during the actual testing. Thankfully, it went without a hitch this year.
YBOOKthe year!
May 1st the students finished their jobs working on the yearbook. I had 5 days to proof, fix and publish the yearbook. That means proofreading 60 pages. Name checking every student. Looking for missing students. Looking for students that might appear too many times. Fixing pages that were done too collage like. Fixing pages without enough pictures. Fixing pages filled with photos that only show the back of heads… there’s a lot of fixing. I sort of feel like the 8th grade class is merely my AI device that produces a yearbook for me and I then have to go back and make sure everything is okay. Proofreading is hard. I often think it would be easier to just do it myself… but then it wouldn’t be theirs. It needs to be theirs. The cover, btw. Gorgeous. We have an amazing 8th grade digital artist. I am sure folks with think it was AI made. AI makes me mad for this. It degrades humanity.
It’s all downhill from here.
I missed the track meet on Saturday because I was running the Yosemite half with KS and KT.
It was quite the adventure. We arrived at Bass lake Friday, got our bibs and planned out the next morning. We were able to stay at a friend’s house, just 1 mile from the finish. Super.
We got up at four and walked to the busses at the finish. They weren’t there yet so we wandered around, wondering where they would be. I heard a bus and turned around. KS and KT did not follow me… they kept wandering. I didn’t realize I’d lost them or they’d lost me until I got to the bus. “What?! Where?!... do I look for them or get on a bus?”
Just when I was about to run off looking for them they appeared. Phew! Panic moments at 4 in the morning in the dark in a weird place are not very fun. Then the bus driver didn’t know where to go… hmmm. A long curvy road in the dark on a tour bus is also not really very fun, btw.
We made it to the start. Somewhere in the middle of the woods over 2000’ higher than the finish. We started running down at 6:30. We ran together for the first 8 miles. At that point it got steeper (the downhill) and I got antsy so I took off. Zoom. They stopped at a potty. Yup. I zoomed. According to the race info I ran a 7:40 mile and a 7:15 mile in the middle of the half marathon. That’s just nuts. For the finishing 3 I ran 8:30, 9 and 8:30. Also nuts. My quads were on absolute fire but there was something about the day and I just kept pushing. When I finished I thought my legs would seize up.
Sunday I ran a little and they almost seized up.
Tuesday at Hot Yoga I couldn’t do chair pose for the life of me.
Wednesday I ran six miles and my quads screamed at me on a minor little downhill.
Today I ran 10 with PP and going up was great… but then there was this long downhill and my quads are still screaming.
It’s amazing what running between 1 and 3 minutes faster per mile to finish a race can do to your body. The lactic acid… the strain to the muscles and fibers. It’s amazing what the body can do and persist through even when complaining. I definitely felt it as I was running, I just willed myself to keep going. It was good to feel like I pushed myself to the edge of what my body can handle. I imagine that’s what competitive people do all the time. Will themselves forward.
Hopefully my quads will feel better over the next few days.
And in the end 13.1 miles, even with a drop of over 2,000’ is still just a lot of repetition. Step step step breathe… over and over for about 2 hours. Oh… and what was perhaps most interesting. I was 10th in my age group at mile 8. I was still 10th at mile 10 when we finished the downhill even after my two super fast miles. The flat section at the end when I slowed down but still pushed hard? That’s when I went from 10th to 6th. 6th out of 38 in my age group. For me, that’s an incredible placing.
Purple Hat. I need a purple hat.